Monday, November 30, 2009

A Feast for the Heart

Omi's Lebekuchen-1

AFK stands for 'away from keyboard' -- and that's what I've been for the last little bit. Life took over my blog time for a while there. Some good times, some bad.

The good times included a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday -- full of family, fun, food and and football. A good holiday always has those "f-words", in my opinion.  :-)

My whole family came to town, and together we talked, laughed, ate, shopped, cooked...bliss!  The Thanksgiving feast was completely wonderful, with every cook outdoing himself or herself. It was a feast for my tummy, but also a feast for my eyes and my heart. It just felt so good to able to have everyone there together. I needed that.

Life in general has not been too fun lately. Despite a several interviews, we still have not found work. (always the bridesmaid, never the bride) It's a year TODAY that Mr. H was laid off. Not a happy anniversary. So far, I've been able to make things stretch and somehow pay our bills, but it won't last much longer, and hard decisions are being made now.

I hate unemployment/underemployment trials with a purple passion! I hate this recession. I hate how this goes on and on and on! I hate the stress, the worry, the loss of dignity, the "loser" perspective that everyone around has about you (sometimes even family members!), but most of all, the loss of control and power over your own life. I could write a laundry list of all the things that are out of the question when a job loss happens, but having the power over your own choices taken from you is one that I'm having an extremely hard time with right now. But...

...women are steel magnolias. We do the hard things. We roll up our sleeves and "do", even while our hearts break, or we are stifling the urge to run away. So, the next two months will be a bend in the road for us. We'll see what the days ahead will bring.


In the meantime, this time of famine is not going to stop me from continuing this idea of a "feast for the heart".  Gratitude has been my watchword for the past few weeks (perfect for November, huh?) and I think that trying to live that word has kept me from going off the deep end a time or two.

Now the Christmas season's upon us. I refuse to curl up in a corner and bah-humbug out! My family needs Christmas. I can't deliver presents, but I can deliver the season -- everything else that makes Christmas...well, Christmas. I can give my family a feast of the heart.

So that's what I'm gonna do! I've already seen the Lord's hand in this, as He's blessed me with inspiration and creativity when it came to projects I wanted to do, problems I wanted to solve, and plans I wanted to make. I know He will continue to do that. He's also strengthening me and sustaining me to be happy and upbeat -- to have the Christmas spirit despite some very Scroogey realities.

I'll be posting some of the things we're doing here in the coming days.

Can't wait to share them with you!


Suzanne said...

I'm sorry to hear you too continue to be without work. There are so many in that same boat and others just barely getting by. Thank you for your courage and up beat attitude. Remember we are all on this journey to eternity together.

Elena said...

Oh Wendy...such a heartfelt post from you. I'm so sorry the work is not finding you. We went through a very rough spell over the summer (being self employed can be scary at times) and that was long enough for me. I can't begin to imagine the strength it takes to deal with this for as long as you have. I don't have any words of advice, but know this, I am your friend through it all and am here for a shoulder to lean on, cry with, and laugh. Love your attitude. Hang in there!!

Mama Williams said...

Dear Wendy~
You strong woman! You're amazing and so postive, even when you're not. I admire your fortitude. You'd make the pioneer woman proud. I wish I could take away your pain and struggles. Keep looking to the light and know you have friends that love you! I'm here for you!