Monday, January 11, 2010

Chugging Right Along...

train coming around the bend

So, how's your 2010 so far? Mine is chugging right along!

When I think of the new year,
<-----  this is the image that pops into my head. The new year has been busy, busy, busy!

I feel like I'm a passenger on a train and life is whizzing by the windows, and the train is carrying me along, like it or not!

I got a new job at church -- after 10-plus years of working with children and their leaders in Primary, I'm now in the women's organization (RS). Talk about a mind shift! I've been scrambling to learn the new duties, but I finally feel like I'm starting to get the hang of it now.

Those aren't the only changes. As my 'Words to Live By'  have been hinting, (click  here and here ) other mind-shifting changes are looming for me. Perhaps at the next station, even.

In spite of many calls and interview opportunities in the past couple of months, nothing has really panned out, and it's time to make hard decisions. I'm pretty good at making things stretch, (almost to a magical level, I was told...LOL) but it can't go on forever. Resources dwindle down, even with the tightest budgets.

Our plan of having me go to school, and then jump into a career of my choice once the Sweet Girl's flown the nest, has changed. It's time to enter the workforce now and help out the family. I am more than willing to roll up my sleeves and do what needs to be done, but privately, quietly, deep down in my soul, there is heartbreak over this.  I don't want to give up any part of my labor of love.  I could write a post all by itself on this, but I won't.  Just know that words like "infertility", "you'll never have children", "you're expecting!", "I only have one", and "Mr. H, being able to be a mother is a gift to me from heaven", and "I don't want to miss a *minute* of this!" ... are involved. Enough said.

So, I tuck these feelings away and give myself a good talking to --  I'm trying to be positive and proactive and see what's around the bend for me. The challenge will be to see if I can trust in the Lord's will, and be open to this journey -- and stop checking my ticket to see if I got on the wrong train!

I've found out by experience that when you do what's right, good things happen. Even when it's hard. I have to believe that good things are just around the bend...

Wish me luck.

picture credit


Jen said...

You are stronger than you know!!
And I know you will be blessed for your sacrifice!

I love you.

Heidi said...

Hugs to you my dear Wendy! My thoughts are with you as you venture into this new world. I've always admired your positive attitude and strength, though I know there are times you don't feel either positive or strong, but you ARE. I so wish that you would find something you both enjoy and allows you to balance your work life with your home life, so you can still bless your home and loved ones as you love to do.

We are doing fine currently though still trying to "catch up" financially from our no income months. I think it may take us at least a year or two to recover from this last year. How can that be?? Still, we are grateful for what we have and that Michael's new job seems like a good place and we HOPE a long term situation. That would be a nice change! Hugs to you all!!!!

Mama Williams said...

I empathize with you my friend! It's scary putting yourself out there again in the work force. As woman we sacrifice so much to be home and then poof* it's time to make new ones and jump into the next phase. Working! I have only done so in baby steps so far, but I shudder at the idea of full time employment. Will I ever be ready? I'm looking to you "mentor". Good luck! You'll be amazing what ever path you choose.

Deanna said...

Oh, Wendy! I love you and your positive outlook so much. I know you can do whatever you put your mind through. I completely understand your feelings of wanting to be able to bless your home instead of leaving it every morning. :) Every day I pray I'll be able to 'stay home' instead of leave each morning!

Wherever you find your place, your family will be blessed. God is mindful of you (and I know you know that!) and you will be able to bless others whom you work with!

I've had MANY missionary opportunities in my office, and that has been very special to me. :)

Hugs flying your way,

Rebekah said...

I am wishing you more than luck. I am wishing you happiness.

Christine said...

"God will give you double for your trouble" - Joyce Meyers

Don't be afraid. Read everything you can about faith.